Random post about some of the most ironic moments in my life in recent memory. I'm not talking "Alanis ironic." I know the joke has been made a million times that that song isn't ironic, but just a lot of people with shitty luck. I degress....
Remembering a name:
Let me start this by saying that I don't remember every detail of the story but they aren't really important as you'll see. There was a kid in high school that I wasn't really friends with. For the sake of this story let's call him Joey Bobbit (no idea why i chose that name) He just a guy that was there, never talked to him much. Only thing I knew about him was his name. But I only ever called him by his last name. "hey there's Bobbit" "why is Bobbit here?" "Bobbit? Yea i think he's in my english class" are about as much as i ever talked about this kid. Always referring to him by his last name. Fast forward 6 years after high school. Haven't seen this kid since probably our last day at school. I run in to him out one night, probably at a bar, and I say "hey Joey." Joey? I don't remember this guy as Joey. I know i went to high school with him but all those years ago I only knew him by his last name. Now here we are and i can only remember the kids first name. No idea what his last name is and no way I'm going to remember either. Funny how things work out...
Leave me alone:
Publix is probably my favorite place in the world. Food. Beer. Meat. Those subs. The occasional pretty lady to catch your eye. I mean it's as good as a place can get if you have to do a chore. I often go alone to get the groceries or any little thing i might need during the week. Food shopping is a great experience for me, especially doing it alone. Doing grocery shopping is basically planning how much and what exactly what you'll be pooping for the next week. Going alone is extra fun because you have all the power. No one telling you that you can't get this, or so and so doesn't like that brand. It's all up to you.
So I go to Publix, alone, on a Sunday. I decide i want to concentrate and get out of this place quickly today. I decide I'm going to wear my headphones this trip as to not have anyone try to make any small talk with so I can stay focused. It's World Cup season so I'm wearing my "Where's Waldo?" USA jersey to get in the spirit. As I walk in, I head straight to the Coke section and pick up a couple of 12 packs. That's when I hear my music drop in volume. I got a text. "You look really concentrated with your headphones on," it reads. I thought "how nice. A friend of mine is here too." We go back and forth with a couple of messages where I say "You should've said hello" to which she replied "nah, i saw you had your headphones on, figured you didn't want to be bothered." Perfect! My well thought-out plan of wearing headphones as to not be bothered worked! Or so I thought....
I continue shopping and get to the deli. It's packed as usual. I take my number and begin to wait. Minding my own business, listening to my music, until.... "Hey. Nice shirt" someone says to me. Headphones on, I'm not sure they're talking to me. I take the earphone out of one side and say "huh?" "Nice shirt." the stranger says. I thank him and assume that'll be the end of it. USA pride, I like that. I'm not going to be rude. I put my headset back on. This will be the last time I will have the two earphones on the rest of my trip at Publix. "Is that the new jersey for this year?" I pull out my headphone and correct him. "No this is from a couple of years back..." This conversation continued for about 6 minutes. Discussing team USA and whether or not Landon should've been left on the squad or not. Not exactly how I wanted to be spending my time. The man finishes ordering his cold cuts and says good bye. Not 2 seconds later, before I can even try to put my earplug in, I hear "have you been here long?" asks the tall bald man with a faded Portugal football team tee shirt. I tell him i've been waiting about ten minutes but i'm the next number to be called. This begins another 5-6 minute conversation on how the line at the deli always takes so long. I'm bombarded with questions and comments..."how long have you been here? Are they always this slow? When isn't there a line here? Even during the week this place is packed." They finally call my number mid conversation and I begin my order. This doesn't seem to affect Big Z and wanting to converse. I finally finish and bid farewell.
All I wanted from my trip to Publix that day was some time to myself and to listen to my music. I figured wearing headphones would give people the idea that i don't feel like talking to anyone. Ironically the only person I would've not minded taking my headphones out for a conversation with, was the only one that actually seemed to care, or notice, that i didn't want to be disturbed.
I would've preferred a free ride when i already paid.
