Traffic updates:
I don't need to hear that you're stuck in traffic. Its Miami, it's the morning theres always traffic. If I need a traffic update I'll listen to the radio. I'm not concerned if you're stuck in a school zone and that its raining and you'd rather be in bed. I have a window and I'd always rather be in bed.
Gym updates:
Do I really need to know when you're getting sweaty? Here's an idea post a picture when you're fat and post another when you're skinny, and if anyone cares enough they'll ask you if you've been working out. And attention fat people that are "always at the gym" it won't do you any good if you keep eating out and don't watch your diet. 2 hours at the gym everyday with only 20 minutes of actual workout time on the bike ain't gonna cut it.
Sad/emotional updates:
Is this really the best outlet to share your feelings? Ever heard of a phone? Call one of your friends and talk it out. 547 people that are your "friends" on Facebook aren't going to care if you wish you had someone special in your life. Go out and talk to people. I feel for you, we all have shitty days. But going on the internet posting how sad you are *hoping* somebody asks whats wrong isn't exactly the best therapy.
Random/Attempting to be funny statuses:
Guilty. I fall into this category. But I think I'm rather funny so I don't see a problem here. To be honest though I kind of hope people read them and realize that they take these things way to seriously. I mean I almost felt bad the other day when someone had as their status that they had the worst day ever, and it was right on top op my "I wish Chip n' Dale Rescue Rangers was still on TV" status. Lighten up people! It's the internet. It's supposed to be used for porn and reading about people in Hollywood and sports whose lives we wish we had.
TV/Movie updates:
Hey, not everyone has the chance to see their favorite shows the first time they air. Give some of us a chance to watch our DVRs before you go and post every plot twist from the season 4 finale of Dexter. (Someone I know had Dexter ruined by Danica Patrick on Twitter) And I really don't need your opinion on this weeks box office hit. If you want to share it, write a blog and maybe your mom will read it one day. If I wanted a shitty opinion about a movie I'd read the Herald.
And by far my favorite one…..
The "let me tell you every detail of my life every 37 seconds":
Holy shit! Come on! You know why TMZ is so popular? Because the stupid shit they show people doing is of celebrities. Just because you have 800 facebook friends and 100 followers on twitter doesn't make you a celebrity. Corey Feldman buying Ritz crackers at a 7-11 is 10x more interesting than you telling me that you just got out of work and are going to go spend time with your babe. On your way to work? Good for you. But I'm not your boss and we don't work together so I'm not interested. Going to sleep? I wasn't talking to you anyways. Need some coffee? Go to bed earlier and stop being such a bitch. Going out for lunch? If it's better than what I'm having, well fuck you. Just cleaned your room? Is this such a momentous occasion that you have to share it with everyone? You're a pig and it should've been clean already. Got a new cell phone and need everyone's numbers? If anyone really cared they'd call you. Really need a vacation? We all do, how about you take a vacation from being such a loser.
People need to stop taking these things so seriously. We don't measure our importance by the amount of friends we have on Facebook or the amount of followers we have on Twitter. The only true way to measure how much people love us is by the number of people you have on your BBM.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
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